Back in the early nineties, there was a story circulating in the education sector about a young child who, when asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, replied, “A phone.” When the teacher asked why, the child allegedly said, “So Mummy will look at me.”
I remember feeling shocked, and perhaps a little disbelieving, at the time. This was long before it became normal for almost everyone to have a phone in their hand. Now, when I see parents arriving to collect children from Nipperbout while still scrolling, sometimes barely raising their heads to say hello, I can understand how a child might sometimes feel that a screen is more important than they are.
That is not to criticise parents. Life is busy, tiring and often overwhelming, and screens have become part of how families manage the day. But it does make me wonder whether children’s relationship with screens is something adults have helped to create. If that is the case, using screen time simply as a weapon to gain more control over children is not something I feel entirely comfortable with.
In the article below, we look at the pros and cons of screen time and consider whether it really deserves to be demonised. There is clearly a place for screens in children’s lives, and for many families they are a useful and sometimes necessary tool. However, I remain convinced that childhood was less stressful before screens became so central to everyday life.
Read on and let us know what you think.
Recent government guidance advises that ‘children under the age of five should be limited to one hour of screen time a day, while under-twos should not be watching screens alone’.
This is despite recent Ofcom data showing that 98% of two-year-olds watch screens daily, with usage averaging around two hours per day, sometimes exceeding five hours.
For the millions of parents who use screens daily there has likely been a spike in anxiety since the guidance was published.
So is this advice realistic and should we really be demonising all screen time? And is it actually damaging our children’s brains? The truth is more nuanced than the headlines suggest.
Since the statistics suggest that the vast majority of parents are using screens daily, surely we need to understand why rather than making parents feel guilty?
The increasing cost of living in the UK means that most families depend on a double income to make ends meet. With both parents working, many rely on screens as a helpful aid to engage their child for a while whilst they make breakfast, get their bags packed or make dinner when they get home.
More than ever many young families don’t have an extended family or friends network that can look after their children whilst they do what needs doing around the house. On top of that there is less access to safe outdoor spaces for many children and increasing cautiousness of letting children play outside on their own.
Although screen time is often demonised, when used thoughtfully, screens can offer real benefits.
1. Learning and Development
High-quality educational programmes and apps can support early literacy, numeracy, and problem-solving. Interactive content, such as number or language learning games on a tablet, can engage children in ways traditional methods sometimes can’t.
2. Connection
Screens help children stay connected with family and friends, especially those who live far away. Video calls can strengthen bonds with family members and friends they don’t see very often.
3. Rest for Parents
Let’s be honest, sometimes screen time gives parents a much-needed break or a chance to do something that needs doing. Putting on a screen for half an hour in the morning can give you a chance to get on with household tasks like hanging up the washing, loading the dishwasher, or simply having a cup of tea and doing some life admin.
4. Digital Skills
There’s no denying that screens are going to play an integral part in our children’s lives. Learning how to navigate technology is a life skill, and early exposure can build confidence.
That said, there are valid concerns which have led to the screen time limit guidance.
1. Disrupted sleep
Screens, especially before bedtime, can interfere with sleep due to blue light and overstimulation. The temptation to look at a phone or laptop whilst in bed can lead to later bedtimes and disrupted sleep if screens aren’t restricted at bedtime.
2. Reduced Physical Activity
When screen time is prioritised over getting outside or being active it can have an impact on the child’s physical and mental health and development.
3. Attention and Behaviour
Fast-paced or highly stimulating content may affect attention spans (at least in the short term) or make it harder for children to engage in slower, real-world activities.
4. Less Face-to-Face Interaction
Too much passive screen use, eg when a TV is on constantly in the background, can reduce opportunities for conversation, play, and social development.
If you’ve ever worried that screen time might be damaging your child, you’re definitely not alone. The good news is that the research isn’t nearly as alarming as it’s often made out to be. Large studies have found little clear evidence that screen time on its own directly harms children’s mental health or development. In fact, one of the biggest challenges researchers face is working out cause and effect. For example, children who are already struggling may be more likely to turn to screens, rather than screens being the root of the problem.
That said, there are some valid concerns, especially for younger children. Higher levels of screen use have been linked to delays in language and communication, particularly when it replaces time spent talking and interacting with adults. More commonly, though, the impact of screens seems to be indirect. When screen time starts to take priority over sleep, outdoor play, and family connection, that’s when it can begin to affect a child’s wellbeing.
It’s also worth remembering that not all screen time is the same. A video call with grandparents, an educational programme, or an interactive app is very different from passive scrolling or fast-paced, overstimulating content. More and more, experts are moving away from focusing on strict time limits and instead looking at the bigger picture; what is your child watching, how they’re using it, and how does it fit into their day?
When you take all of this into account, the picture becomes a lot less black and white. Screen time in moderation, especially when it’s age-appropriate and balanced with plenty of sleep, movement, and real-world interaction, is unlikely to be harmful.
It’s not just how much screen time but how it’s used.
Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for intention.
Screen time isn’t inherently good or bad, it’s a tool and like any tool, its impact depends on how it’s used.
For most families it isn’t realistic to stop using screens completely but being more conscious about how they are used may help to ease the guilt and concern and find a helpful balance.
Do your children use screens? Have you found a balance in their screen time use?
